I have great news! Remember how the other day you were saying you had a crick in your neck because you are trying to cook and talk on the phone at the same time. I can teach you something that you will never have to hold your phone with your face and shoulder again. I know you think computers are confusing, but there is this great thing called twitter and all you have to do is type what you want to say in a couple of words. No more long dreadful conversation when you are trying to avoid a conversation. . Let me know when you are ready, I can walk you through step by step to sign up for free .You really do not have to do anything, just create a username that would identify you when you tweet.